Supporting Caregivers: 5-Step Guide
Every caregiver needs a caregiver. The fact that you’re here is a great start to making a difference.
Ask
different strokes for different folks
Support is not one-size-fits-all - it looks different for everyone. What feels comforting to one person may not have the same impact on another. For example, it’s easy to assume someone wants space - but they may actually be desperate for connection. Or that prayers are comforting - but we all share different beliefs and relationships with God - especially in a crisis. It takes a certain amount of courage to do, but don’t be afraid to ask the following: What does support look like for you right now? How can I support you during this time? If you’re wondering how to support someone - just ask. It’s that simple.
Take Initiative
make it happen
Now that you’ve asked how to help, set things in motion immediately. Support is like water for caregivers in the hospital - and the faster they receive it, the stronger they become. If they want to connect, pick up the phone and call. If they could use help with childcare, offer to babysit the next day you have available. And if they say they don’t need anything, send a card or offer a meal together anyway. They’ll appreciate it.
Educate Yourself
so they don’t have to
You may feel “in the dark”. It’s not intentional. Recapping every single event in the hospital, and answering a stream of medical questions can be unimaginably draining. Being the gatekeeper of information to family outside the hospital is an important part of a caregiver’s role, but it can also feel like a burden at times. Do what you can to help yourself stay informed. If you hear medical terms mentioned that you don’t know - write them down to look up later. If you have a few questions you need answered - keep the list short and concise. Write down any dates for upcoming procedures / tests. Check-in frequently so conversations don’t always become a recounted play-by-play of events. And when possible - avoid text - especially group chains - when asking medical Qs. Responses can feel long to both read and write. When in doubt check-in…Would you rather discuss on a call? Is there a website I can research this on my own? Would you prefer if we hold Qs for another time? … Qs like these can help everyone get on the same page, and lessens the burden for caregivers.
Show Up
b/c in-person support hits different
Long hospital stays are extremely isolating. Caregivers are typically confined to the patient’s room, cafeteria and not much else. The faces they see most every day are the patient, a nurse - and sometimes physicians or specialists. Having a loved one visit from the “outside world” can be extremely comforting and help re-center when things feel disorienting. Your visit can be the highlight of a caregiver’s day or week. Offer to grab a meal together, a quick coffee, or get some fresh air outside. Give some reprieve by offering to stay with the patient so caregivers can have a break or alone time. Even better if they can squeeze in a shower. Nothing really tops in-person support, it truly is a lifeline.
Get Creative
the possibilities are endless
A little thought goes a long way. Here are some ways to show support to caregivers in the hospital - some of which are totally free:
Young kids at home? Have them make artwork or handmade cards they can display in the patient’s room
Deliver a “care package” that includes things like yummy snacks, magazines/books, wellness items (ie: body lotion/eye mask), refillable water bottle, cozy sweatshirt, etc.
Gift-card towards meal delivery (ie: DoorDash/GrubHub)
Gift-card towards coffee/tea (ie: Starbucks / Hospital Cafe)
Share a curated playlist of music/podcasts/meditations
Gift-card towards e-books (ie: Kindle/Nook)
Make a video they can watch showing loved ones back home saying hi or giving words of encouragement (this is a great one for the patient too!)
Send a box of their favorite sweets…bc chocolate never hurts
Start a Go-Fund-Me page to help alleviate medical bills (if the caregivers are parents / responsible for payment)
Offer to babysit young kids back home
Offer to check on a caregivers house (ie: grab mail/water plants/tidy up)
Offer to walk / visit pets back home